(Squeeeak!) 🐀

Belvedere 7-Eleven

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We’re on the BirdShit App @SevenHelleven

RVA’s most inconsistent parody account.

Our Goals and Experience…

We have experience getting robbed, pepper sprayed, and shot at. We’ve said—on record—many times that we would appreciate less experience. If you desperately need to unload a clip in Oregon Hill, we kindly ask that you crater-up some Confederate grave stones instead.

Our one goal is to provide Oregon Hill’s young and old with nicotine products, booze, junk food, and a wide variety of gambling opportunities. Check out our NEW Video Gambling Machines, part of our Project Paycheck, where we envision siphoning off your entire paycheck.

We’re Always Hiring!

Meet Our Staff!

🍺 The Haggish Franchisee

🍕 The Molly ‘n’ Coke Dude

🌭 The White Guy Who Says “Retarded”

⛽️ The Cool One

🎰 The Exhausted Night-Shifters

🚬 Mr. Too-Happy to Be Here

VA State Senator Joe Morrissey is a Convicted Pedophile

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Every last one of you is fucking deranged.

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God damn, I hate this job!

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All Cops Are Bastards

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Fuck the Police!

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I’m going to the back to jack off for a few minutes.

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We're closed.

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No Discounts for Fascists

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Every act of Anti-Fascism, no matter how small, is revolutionary. That is why Belvedere 7-Eleven has canceled all 7-Rewards points for anybody who follows Mike Dickinson's sockpuppet account on Twitter.

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Gamble Your Troubles Away!

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Try the new Pubic Pulverizer scratch-off from Virginia Lottery!

🦀 🦀 Reveal 5 Crabs to win $500 worth of bush shampoo! 🦀 🦀 🦀

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Yeah, I got some 7-Rewards for you right here, punk.

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You do you.

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It has come to my attention that Richmonders spell Belvedere wrong.

I refuse to change.

I'm perfect as-is.

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I’m a fuckin’ rat, dude…

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I'm gonna bite your face. 🐀

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From the Wikipedia article on Oregon Hill:

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The only restaurant in Oregon Hill is L'opossum, which Tom Hanks has visited.

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Please stop calling Levar Stoney a rat.

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It's offensive to rats.

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Wacky Races!

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Belvedere 7-Eleven is proud to be Gas-Up Central for every wannabe gang of motorheads in town!

(Please don't shoot at the store.)

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Yes, sir, I like it. 🐭

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You like it when daddy types on your stupid little website, you slut rat whore?

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More like Levar Baloney, right?

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Levar Stoney doesn't tip.

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Show your bootyhole through the window!

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Every hour between sundown and sunrise is Sluts Hour!

Sluts slut free!

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Hey, dude…

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I just need a few bucks to get a pack of smokes.

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Buy some fucking shit, you consumer whore!

Ratfink McGillicuddy

Under the Dumpster,

7-Eleven,

Oregon Hill