(Squeeeak!) 🐀

Belvedere 7-Eleven

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TERFs ran us off the Birdshit App @SevenHelleven

IN FUCKING MEMORIAM: Read Ratfink’s suicide note.

Trans People Should Get to Own Christians as Slaves.

RVA’s most inconsistent parody account.

Our Goals and Experience…

We have experience getting robbed, pepper sprayed, and shot at. We’ve said—on record—many times that we would appreciate less experience. If you desperately need to unload a clip in Oregon Hill, we kindly ask that you crater-up some Confederate grave stones instead.

Our one goal is to provide Oregon Hill’s young and old with nicotine products, booze, junk food, and a wide variety of gambling opportunities. Check out our NEW Video Gambling Machines, part of our Project Paycheck, where we envision siphoning off your entire paycheck.

We’re Always Hiring!

Meet Our Staff!

🍺 The Haggish Franchisee

🍕 The Molly ‘n’ Coke Dude

🌭 The White Guy Who Says “Retarded”

⛽️ The Cool One

🎰 The Exhausted Night-Shifters

🚬 Mr. Too-Happy to Be Here

I’m a fuckin’ rat, dude…

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I'm gonna bite your face. 🐀

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I’m going to the back to jack off for a few minutes.

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We're closed.

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More like Levar Baloney, right?

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Levar Stoney doesn't tip.

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Wacky Races!

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Belvedere 7-Eleven is proud to be Gas-Up Central for every wannabe gang of motorheads in town!

(Please don't shoot at the store.)

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Yes, sir, I like it. 🐭

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You like it when daddy types on your stupid little website, you slut rat whore?

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From the Wikipedia article on Oregon Hill:

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The only restaurant in Oregon Hill is L'opossum, which Tom Hanks has visited.

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All Cops Are Bastards

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Fuck the Police!

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You do you.

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It has come to my attention that Richmonders spell Belvedere wrong.

I refuse to change.

I'm perfect as-is.

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No Discounts for Fascists

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Every act of Anti-Fascism, no matter how small, is revolutionary. That is why Belvedere 7-Eleven has canceled all 7-Rewards points for anybody who follows Mike Dickinson's sockpuppet account on Twitter.

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Show your bootyhole through the window!

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Every hour between sundown and sunrise is Sluts Hour!

Sluts slut free!

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Gamble Your Troubles Away!

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Try the new Pubic Pulverizer scratch-off from Virginia Lottery!

🦀 🦀 Reveal 5 Crabs to win $500 worth of bush shampoo! 🦀 🦀 🦀

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Hey, dude…

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I just need a few bucks to get a pack of smokes.

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VA State Senator Joe Morrissey is a Convicted Pedophile

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Please stop calling Levar Stoney a rat.

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It's offensive to rats.

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Yeah, I got some 7-Rewards for you right here, punk.

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Every last one of you is fucking deranged.

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God damn, I hate this job!

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Buy some fucking shit, you consumer whore!

Ratfink McGillicuddy

Under the Dumpster,

7-Eleven,

Oregon Hill