| Say, “I know where Anne-Marie hid Tony Catatucci’s body in 1987.” | We’ll let you use the bathroom. |
| Eye the cashier suspiciously and say, “sup?” | $20 dime-bags of 7-Zelectz Booger Sugar from up my butt. |
| Be a cop. | Free spit in any drink or hot food! |
| Ask for fresh cheeze in the cheeze machine. | $50: I’ll let you probe around for the aforementioned dime-bags. |
| Make the deadest eye contact we’ve ever seen. | Instant, application-free hiring for the graveyard shift! |
| Pass out. | Adrenaline shot to the heart, whether you need it or not. (We’ve had it since Pulp Fiction came out and I really want to use it.) |
| Ask for fresher chicken wings. | 8-count tray of Alley Meat! |
| Start a fight. | Free Pepper Spray! (Sprayer not included.) |
| Grab what you’re carrying and run! | 100% off of Everything! |
